Scientists Find Anti-Inflammatory Treatment
Scientists at the University of El Paso have published a study that says lighting yourself on fire has an anti-inflammatory effect on the body. The study, which sampled 5 subjects, revealed that only minutes after being engulfed in flames, inflammation in the body went down by 100%! Not only did inflammation go down but the […]
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BMW Bug Fixed After Thousands of Complaints from Owners
Munich, Germany – BMW has announced a patch for BMW Driving Assistant on Thursday that will fix a prolific bug that has many BMW drivers worried about the safety of their cars. According to the patch notes, the bug fix will prevent warning lights and sounds from appearing under certain driving conditions. “I had just […]
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Boss Needs Employees in Office to Stare Mindlessly at Computers Together
Despite a recent rise in remote work largely caused by the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Several employers are actually starting to pressure employees to come into the office. This may largely be due to wanting their multi million dollar leases on useless space to not go totally to waste. A few employers have even gone […]
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Employees Think Alcohol Free Company Holiday Party Is Offensive
Seriously, who is going to want to hang out with coworkers without something to numb the brain. An alcohol free company part is a horrible idea and the person in HR who remotely thought it was a decent idea should be fired. What is going to ease the suffering as middle management comes over to […]
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Vladimir Putin Says Russia ‘Seriously Considering’ Unfriending United States
Vladimir Putin said Russia may consider formally unfriending the United States on popular social media site Facebook. The statement does not come as much of a shock to the world considering the constant rhetoric the Kremlin has been putting out for the past several years. The US and its allies have denounced Putin for what […]
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5 Reasons You’ll Click This Article
5. Reason number one has to be something interesting in this article. 4. There is little difficulty in clicking a suspicious link. 3. Everything else in the social media feed is boring. 2. What did I even click into this article again for? 1. Wholesome baby bird pictures. Some other good ones to check out: […]
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“Big Tech Created Our Problems” Says Man From Smartphone
A man cursed big tech for the creation of “all of our recent societal problems” via a dual post across a variety of social platforms. The social platforms in question were in fact created by big tech. The man went on to note economic struggles and political polarization as two of the largest symptoms of […]
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Intel To Produce Potato Chips
Intel announced today that it will pivot to a new architecture. Completely outside the realm of computing. Actually producing potato chips. This pivot comes after continued declines demonstrated in the consumer PC market. Intel has presented with less than desirable earrings and growth reports. Speculation is that competitors like AMD and other ARM based chip […]
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New York City Mayor Vows to Have Mentally Ill People on the Streets
In an unprecedented move to help preserve the cultural identify of New York City. The Mayor vowed to have mentally ill people on every street. “Many people have worried programs to help the mentally ill would detract from our cultural identify as an American City. I promise to maintain that identify by guaranteeing there will […]
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